Tags: critique needed

ed/zeva

Query letter -- rewritten again!

ETA: Edited again based on an awesome and highly appreciated email from slightlyjillian.

Dear _____,

Potter and Illinois native Zeva Couran is really tired of the starving artist shtick. She still loves the art side of it; it's the starving she has a problem with. Illinois native Zeva Couran is really tired of the starving artist shtick. She still loves the craft of pottery; it's the starving she has a problem with. When she's attacked in the street and finds herself swept off to her rescuer's castle, it feels a lot like a fairy tale.

Trouble is, fairy tales always have a villain.

The Far Dorocha is a nightmare creature who serves the Unseelie queen. Commanded to destroy the binding treaty with the mortals who own the castle, he has focused on Zeva as the tool he will use. Apparently Zeva is a Shaper, someone who can touch fate and alter it according to her will. Emphasis on the apparently, because she has no idea how to use her powers.

Her new friends attempt to protect her and teach her about the Fae, but only Zeva can figure out how her magic works. Her early attempts lead to menacing encounters with the Far Dorocha, misplaced attraction from a shadowy loner, and being chased through a thunderstorm by the Fae huntsman and his hounds. Zeva will have to find a way to control her powers without winding up dead or in thrall to the Unseelie queen.

And she'd better find a way to pay her car insurance while she's at it.

Shaper is a complete urban fantasy at 105,000 words. It stands alone, but I have drafted plots for three related novels. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Stephanie Cain

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notebooks

Rewritten query letter

This morning I was pounced by a line for my query. So I rewrote the entire query.

Potter and Illinois native Zeva Couran is really tired of the starving artist shtick. She still enjoys the art side of it; it's the starving she has a problem with. So when she's attacked in the street and finds herself swept off to her rescuer's castle, it feels a lot like a fairytale.

Trouble is, fairy tales always have a villain.

The Far Dorocha is a nightmare creature who serves the Unseelie Queen. He has focused on Zeva as the answer to a problem the Fae have had for the past 300-odd years: they want out of the pact they made with the Rankin family who owns the castle. Apparently Zeva is a Shaper, someone who can touch fate and alter it according to her will. Emphasis on the apparently, because she has no idea how to use her powers. As Fithian Rankin attempts to protect her and teach her about the Fae, Zeva has to explore her powers and her confusing feelings for both the kind-hearted Boone and the mysterious Edmund.

Shaper is complete at 105,000 words. I have drafted plots for three related novels. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks very much for your time.


Thoughts, comments, criticism are all welcome.



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